
A true story about empathy: The costume.
A story about understanding others and empathy. As a child, I was about six years old and, for Carnival, I wanted more than anything in the world to be a pirate. A legendary pirate film had captured my imagination. I associated pirates with everything I claimed for myself: freedom, independence, being respected and a little feared. A sword and a pistol, a headscarf and an eye patch, and a painted-on beard. Torn clothes.
But my loving mother had something else in mind. Her youngest child was to be dressed as a “clown” for Carnival. Her sweet little clown. So she put in great effort, spending hours making a clown costume. She got face paint and a wig.
And so it happened that, because as a small boy I couldn’t refuse my mother a wish, I went to the primary school Carnival celebration dressed as a clown. The result was that I sat crying on a bench in the assembly hall. So much so that all my makeup ran. I didn’t move. I waited until the celebration was over, and then I went home.
In the meantime, my siblings had apparently told them. When I walked through the front door, my parents and my siblings greeted me. And all of them were holding pieces of a pirate costume. My mother almost tore the clown costume off me, and I was dressed as a pirate.
With a sword, pistol, wide belt, torn clothes, a striped shirt, a black headscarf, and an eye patch. And finally, my older sister painted beard stubble onto my face.
For three days, I roamed the land as a pirate and made the area unsafe. They were very happy days. To this day, this story is firmly burned into my memory. And I think it is a good place and time to tell it. So that it happens to as few children as possible—to turn a real pirate into a clown.
Empathy means understanding the other person. If my mother had asked me, she could have prevented a childhood dream from being taken away. What makes this story particularly bitter is this: I didn’t shake off the image of the class clown for a long time. So, just ask—before you think you already know what might be better for someone else. Thank you.
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